Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree, How stressful is the seeeeeeason! I am writing this in my post Christmas calm, while lying in bed having a little afternoon rest. This is code for I have a wicked hang over and reflux kept me awake all hours of the night, so I am trying to make up for some of those lost hours in the middle of the day. DAYUMMMMMM that’s a far cry from me a few years ago. If you have known me for a long time – well I am not sorry for who I am now but I am sorry if you were ever adversely affected by the self righteous stick that I have only learned to recently remove from ….. well you know where.

Christmas, its reason, its whole purpose was never about the warm glow of bellies filled with yuletide yumminess or of how many presents exhausted parents could stack under their trees, in an effort to convince their children that they love them. Im sorry I know that I sound cynical and to be honest, this year, I may well be a little cynical. For years and years I brought into Christmas hype. I made Christmas something that it isn’t and I am sorry for that. The wonder and beauty of the first Christmas is not wrapped in commercialism and families trying their best to awkwardly smile through another full day of activities bound up in feelings of duty.

This year I woke up in the home of my childhood. This year I woke up with both of my siblings in the same house as me – for the first time in ohhhhhh about 26 years! This year it wasn’t about presents (yes we had them) or particular dishes that we would gorge ourselves on. There is very little gorging when my brother, sister and I can eat a cup of food between us per meal πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ This year it was about being with the people that we love. About reconnecting and adding value to relationships. The first Christmas was about hope and this year, after the darkest year of my life, I have felt hope come alive again. Not because of anything anyone preached to me, but because of the LOVE that has been shown. Oh to preach our beliefs with our actions rather than with empty words and to let love speak via who we are.

Christmas is more than a day – it is a love filled narrative that is year long and if its not that …. well I guess for me it is probably just an empty, commercialised thing. So for the first time in a very long time I can truly say that Christmas has changed my life.

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