Day: April 17, 2020

Face off Friday

If I was to write a letter to big me this is what it would say,

Hey there girly,

I am not sure how to even go about thanking you for all of the choices that you have made over the past two years. You have come so far!! I remember back to the sore and sad woman that you were and my heart breaks for you. You felt invisible, unlovable and totally undeserving of any kind of good future. You felt like you had failed at life and that it was probably going to be too late to make any meaningful changes in your life.

You were braver than you knew. You were more courageous than you believed you could be and you found a way to block out all of the noise and the doubters and you did it. You did change your stars, you bravely changed your life and I am so thankful to you for that.

Thank you for making the choice to have Gastric Bypass Surgery. Thank you for doing your research and choosing a truly amazing surgeon. Thank you for continuing to eat right and exercise and thank you for not allowing your former addiction to food to turn into any other type of addiction. Thanks for going there, to the painful place in your heart and dealing with your pent up shit from childhood. Thank you for forgiving yourself of your many failings and for stopping the cycle of self loathing and punishment that you were stuck in!

You deserve the world. You are not less than anyone else and don’t ever allow yourself to feel that way again. Those doubts about your worth DO eventually vanish! You find a way forward. Unfortunately it is going to be the hardest road you have ever walked in your life but you already knew that when you started. That’s why it took you so long to decide to take this path! You will meet incredible people on your journey. They will challenge you with their openness and their love for you will overwhelm you! You will reconnect with other friends that you had from years ago and they will strengthen you and your love for your family is going to morph into the kind of love that will carry you forward for a life time!

It all sounds good so far hey! But honestly babe, you will lose some things along the way and it is going to break your heart in ways that you didn’t know you could be broken. As a result of what is going to happen you will be humbled and more authentically you than you ever would have dared to be. For the first time in your life you will reach a point where you don’t allow the opinions of others to be the guiding force in your life.

Finally, it all turns out okay. Not everything is okay but YOU will be okay because that’s how you win. You just refuse to stay down.

I love you xx

Stretch!

There was a time, not so long ago, when I would never have been able to do this in a million years! My stomach hung nearly to my knees and that is not an exaggeration. I would have been too scared to even try to do this. It feels good to have my body moving again. I am now two years from when I started my pre op diet. I am so thankful for all of the amazing things that I have learned on this road to health and wellness but I am very curious about where my next steps are going to take me.