To Be Kind

Recently, one of my children has faced a situation that activated and challenged their deepest thoughts and beliefs. While I do believe that our spur of the moment, instant responses to situations may not always reflect positively on us – they do speak to the type of person that we are on the inside. I hope that one day I am as brave as my son. I want to do better, be better and stand firmer because of them.

Prior to my weight loss, when squeezed, challenged or confronted with situations that I found upsetting or unjust, I used to bury my true feelings and try to “not rock the boat”But sometimes, not only does the boat need a good rocking, sometimes it needs to sink.

I refuse to participate in teaching my children to be “nice” !! I can totally get around teaching them to practice kindness, love and mercy but I will never make them be silent in the face of injustice. Just because it’s how it’s always been doesn’t mean it’s right!! And it really is possible to be right but very wrong at the same time!


Sometimes the best blessings are the things that we do not get. Sometimes the best things of all are lessons that we learn along the way. I couldn’t be more thankful for the last 3 years of my life if I tried. It’s been hard, beyond what I wanted to ever endure but I have learned to be okay with the discomfort.

Sometimes, it is in the hard and broken places that we decide to change. We can chose to be different, chose a different outcome, chose a different path. If I had known what lay ahead of me back in 2017 when I decided to book in for weight loss surgery I would have likely chosen to remain as I was. So many things have happened……… and not all of them have been good BUT – I am a lover of silver linings, I look for them, even when I feel like there are none to be found. Hope truly is an anchor!

Right before my weight loss surgery there was a defining moment that happened in my life. I was bullied in the workplace. The things said were disgusting, beyond what I would consider ever saying to another human. But something happened in me that day and it has happened a few other times since. On that particular day, I rejected the words that were said about me and refused to agree with that assessment of who I am. That interaction changed my life forever! Now I am thankful for it! It’s hard to believe that being called a “Fat C@&$” could be a moment of power but it truly has become one and I am thankful for it!! It was the catalyst that I needed to truly believe in myself and my worth for the very first time.

Surround yourself with the doers

The biggest changes in my physical self may have commenced in 2018 but the most gigantic change in me as a person began in 2020. I learned a really valuable lesson. That lesson has changed and saved my life!

I knew that what you feed will grow. I have seen that in my life over and over again. I have seen plants grow, my kids grow, my animals grow and heck I saw myself grow and shrink according to how I was fed!! It took a long time for me to translate that into my emotional health but I finally have.

This year I learned who is really in my corner. Not who says they are in my corner but it is really all about them, not the gossips who like to be on your socials because they think you post your whole life there, and not the people who are waiting to find something to pick at!!! I learned that my circle is small, it’s beautiful and it’s no surprise who is in it and who isn’t. I have learned that I can survive and thrive when I am broken and I have learned that being around people who empower, who build up, who encourage and who are always believing the best of you is a wonderful thing!!!

I have finally learned that it is possible for me to disallow my thoughts to take me to a bad place. I have learned to starve the fears that like to grip me and allow hope to rise. Give me the dreamers, the doers, the forward thinkers, the life questers! Those with brave and positive hearts, who speak about their hopes and plans and have a weather eye on the horizon. Give me those people every single time. We are responsible for our own thoughts and I don’t go down the rabbit hole of self loathing anymore!!