Had weight loss surgery? Or thinking about evicting that naughty little tummy? I remember those pre weight loss surgery days and I felt total information overload! I might get what? What the actual fuck is Dumping! Am I going to shit myself a lot? I mean, it sounds like that right? Dumping …. just the name conjures up images of rivers of …………. ANYWAY! Dumping syndrome can be a thing after weight loss surgery. It can also be something that you never ever experience! I have lots of friends that have never had any dumping at all since their weight loss surgery. And then there is me, sitting over here in the corner, waving the ” WLS DUMP MASTER CHAMPION” flag! (thats not a thing but I think it could be 🤣)
So what is it exactly? Doctor Google will be your friend and explain it to you but I can tell you what happens to me if I happen upon too many carbs! I get dumping syndrome if I have more than about 10 grams of carbs at a time. On days when I like to live on the wild side I might up it to 12 grams just because I am feeling like I am up the challenge! Usually it’s okay but some days – like today – well it’s not okay!! 10 grams of carbs isn’t a lot – check out how many carbs you eat the next time you eat something and spare a little thought for me because even now, 4 years post WLS (Weight Loss Surgery) I still experience dumping if I ingest more carbs than that.
For me, what happens is as follows – within a few minutes of eating or drinking whatever it may be, I start to notice my temperature rise, I might feel dizzy and a bit anxious too – this is soon followed with a rapid increase in heartbeat. After this I will experience horrible horrible cramps in my lower abdomen. At this point I may or may not need the toilet – Usually not but sometimes I have had a rapid bout of explosive bumhole pyrotechnics. This is always followed by an intense need to lie down and overwhelming tiredness. I have had a lot of people say to me “But how can you even live with that!!” “I wouldn’t have weight loss surgery if I knew that would happen to me!” “OMG how do you even survive” ……. After 4 years of living this way I can say that I am now thankful for the way my body responds to sugar. Chances are, I possibly could choose a better way to fuel myself than what I was eating, so I can use that as a moment to make great choices for myself. But in the early days I did feel overwhelmingly sad and even angry at times because I LOVE carbs. I was so upset the first time that it happened to me out in public. I had just had a Boost Juice and oh my word!! I got to see just how tightly I could clench my arse cheeks while running to the closest toilet! I have never had Boost Juice again.
All of that may sound kind of horrifying but honestly not being able to eat the foods that I was very clearly dependent on and that were causing me great physical harm has really been a blessing in disguise. I only had dumping a few times before I decided that I could happily live without those things. It caused me to be creative and make other food that satisfied my cravings that were better and healthier choices for me and it keeps me honest and accountable in the long term. I guess I could look on it as a negative but thats no way to live so I try to look on the bright side 🙂
When boldness captures your heart and you wrap yourself in purpose it becomes so much easier to live intentionally and authentically! Prior to weight loss surgery I lived my life shrouded in extra layers, my dreams and desired buried deep down! I lived my life out of a sense of obligation and pain because I could see no way that I would ever do the things I dreamed in my heart.
Four years later I now know just how brave she was. The day that she decided to change the narrative. I now know that all the times I wanted to be strong I was actually asking for a life filled with challenges – because how do we ever know how strong we truly are until we come to the end of ourselves?
These days my desires are oh so different!! I ask for the grace needed to be kind and intentional with my days, with those I love and with myself. Changing is hard but staying the same is harder.
Oh Breasts that once stood proudly With Nips that saw the sun, Your bloom is gone, your fat is lost The fun bags are un-fun. My crinkly scrotum raisins I could not hate you if I tried You may look like ET now But I wear you with love and pride.
If you have read my blog then you know that I said goodbye to my darling Poppy in January. I was in church, lamenting my attendance, when the phone rang. It was my brother and I KNOW he wouldn’t call me on Sunday morning unless there was a very good and probably not nice reason. I headed for the toilets at church to return his call but didn’t make it there before I collapsed against a wall and felt like the very life had been sucked from me. Pop was getting ready to pass and they gave it 12 hours.
We left church early, Steve swung into action booking flights which for some reason made me angry. I knew I wouldn’t get to see Poppy again. I knew in my heart that the 12 hours was wrong. I knew that once Poppy decided he was going, he would just go. I told Steve, “Don’t worry about it, it’s too late he is gone!” I felt it – I was right – he left this world in that moment. We still did get on a plane and go to Queensland. I knew I wasn’t going to be attending his funeral. But I also knew that I was going to celebrate Pop and remember him in my own way.
We returned to our home in Victoria, and one by one, all of us except one of the boys came down with covid. Unfortunately One of my sons and myself have long covid and have both had pneumonia. It has been a bad time! However, in the midst of all of the awkward, heartbreaking moments, in the times of grief and sorrow, there has been wonder and beauty and new beginnings and resilience too. I have found things in myself that I simply didn’t know where there!
I am so thankful for new beginnings. I am so grateful for my family and for those who have been there for me and mine through the first 6 months of 2022. In those 6 months I have grown. Growth can be uncomfortable and it is pushing into the unknown but I am really comfortable in that uncomfortable place now!! I am back studying again. I am working, I am doing family life and most of all I am trying to be the person I know my Pop believed that I am.
Right now I am on a plane to Queensland once again. Work and family and laughter and love will follow. I don’t share those moments online but good things are afoot. Good things are happening and I am here for it!
When this concept first made its way onto tiktok I was shook – surely other people grew up eating weetbix with hot water until it went to mushy deliciousness? Anyway this is my bariatric take on things with the protein supplements that I have on hand in the house.
One weetbix with a scoop of Tasteless by Feel Good on it and a squirt of sugar free maple syrup and then boil water to make the weetbix go mooshy. Then I just mix half a VLCD Feel Good Shake with enough water to make a custard consistency and pour that on top (you can add yoghurt here but I like this more. And then Noshu (no sugar) chocolate with a little milk in it – melted in the microwave poured over the top. I refrigerate mine over night and enjoy the next day 😍
My heart is full to the brim. One of the things I have realised over the last 6 months is that nothing in life is worth strife. I actively seek peace. Peaceful situations, genuine connections and kind interactions. I own that I have not always been this way. The saddest part is that I thought I was in search of peace but I now know that letting go of attempting to control situations is the most freeing way to live. I felt out of control in so many ways and that was the most toxic part of me, how I was and who I was as a person. It has been three years of therapy and I have come a long way in that time. Every day is not easy but it is a vast deal better than how thing were and for that I am truly and profoundly grateful.
There is something powerful about owning our own shit. About going, “yep, this is me – I need to work my own shit out. No one is going to fix me, no one is going to save me and while I may be the way I am because of things that have taken place, I get to choose if it destroys me forever, hurt me and others forever or if I allow it to be the fuel that I need to propel me to make changes.” The great part is that it’s never too late to change and it’s never too late to accept powerful responsibility for our own stuff. I can remember conversations that I had years ago with counsellors and psychologists – they tried to tell me this then but I was still just wanting to blame everything else. Coming through the last few years I have seen that doesn’t work! I wanted someone else to be responsible but I am responsible.
My choices are my own. Did I do some things because I felt pressured ….. yes, but again the choice to feel pressured was mine. It all comes back to me. I am certainly not saying this is true for every single person – sometimes we do not have choices but generally speaking for me I have found that I can choose. What a privilege that is! It is right?! How dare I blame anything else when I do have the power to choose and I best make good choices, choices that prove I am making the most of the ability that I have to change my own life.
So July 2022 is the start of even more changes for me. A more intentional fitness journey and sharing far more of what I do on a daily basis ❤️ so watch this space xx