Hands up 🙌🏻 if you came to need WLS because you used food to cope with trauma. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is a common story for so many of us here. Sure there are many other reasons that WLS might be indicated but I am wanting to talk to my fellow bari or pre bari peeps that are struggling to feel like you can climb out of the hole that you found yourself in through no fault of your own.

One of the hardest things for me to come to terms with over the years is that I ate to cope with my trauma. I didn’t know what else to do. I was speaking with someone yesterday and I was recounting the first incident that I actually vividly remember when food was used to try to heal trauma. I grew up in a far less emotionally healthy time. The adult in the situation was encouraging the use of food to cover a blatant and really cruel rejection. I can look at it now and see what was happening and I bear no ill will to anyone but gosh – the dysfunction 🤯 and then probably 6 months later, the person that SA’ed me also tried to use food to soften the sheer vile things that they had subjected me to. Food became the thing that I ran to. If you have never experienced what it is to feel your anxiety dissipate into a tub of ice cream or a packet of chips then this will likely not be relatable …. But if you eat your emotions then you will know EXACTLY what I mean. The hardest part of life post WLS was not having that anymore. The hardest part was feeling instead of eating.

Unfortunately my older kids saw the broken me modeling that behaviour but thankfully we can chose to grow. It would have been easy to remain in that hurt place, understandable even. But then the day came when I confronted the person that hurt me as a child and they said “well besides the fact that you are incredibly fat and haven’t done anything with your life it obviously didn’t affect you too badly” and my rage was awakened. I was so furious because I KNEW how affected I was. I had to find a way to be brave and move into the things that I dreamed in my heart. I had to find a way to move beyond allowing that shit of a human and what happened to me to push me down and make me feel like I was less than! It did not happen straight away but this is basically what I did – and most of it I did feeling totally terrified!

❤️ I studied – gained some qualifications and some self confidence came with that.
❤️ Started Trauma Therapy
❤️ Increased private health insurance to cover WLS
❤️ Joined Bariatric Support Australia on Facebook
❤️ Called the Surgeon that I wanted to use and found out how long his wait time was.
❤️ 4 months after joining PHI went to GP and got referral for WLS
❤️ Booked in to see surgeon in January of 2018
❤️ Booked surgery for June 2018
❤️ Continued Trauma Therapy
❤️ 3 weeks prior to surgery had Barium Swallow (previous lapband so this was required) ECG and blood tests.
❤️June 2018 had gastric bypass
❤️ By September 2019 100 kilos lost
❤️ Jan 2024 – 100 kilos loss maintained, life so changed and I am forever thankful. Thankful for the lessons. Thankful for learning to let go. Thankful that the past does not have to equal the future. Thankful that I learned to forgive everyone – including myself. I am thankful that I found courage to change because I had to make changes. I mean there is no way that I wanted to hurt myself with food and keep giving my trauma the power over my future!!! And I am so excited for the next part of the journey! The fitness is the next mountain I will climb. I so appreciate you guys – thanks for inspiring me, for being kind and helping me. I appreciate it. And if you are just starting out or wondering if it is even possible to achieve what you hope to achieve – I promise if you don’t give up on yourself it really is! It might not look exactly how you thought and there are always bumps along the way but you can do it. If I can then anyone can.