Some of the most unhelpful things that have happened in my life since I had gastric bypass have come about because I paid too much attention to the opinions of others. I wish it was possible for me to explain, truly explain, what it feels like when you just simply have no believe in yourself and that true lack of a sense of self worth leaves you profoundly unsure, grasping for answers, grappling for truth and desperate for something to believe in.

I was so vulnerable in the years leading up to my surgery that I would absolutely try anything to feel better about myself. Now, when I think about the degree of brokenness that I was living with, well it truly makes me so sad. How does someone rebuild their shattered sense of self? How do you pick a place to start when you look at yourself and all that you can see is how broken you are?

That was me and all I could see was my brokenness but I had a sense that I just had to do something. There was a lot of places that I could have started but I picked the one that was the most obvious, I picked the thing that everyone else could see – my weight.

There I was, a woman living with “morbid obesity”. My 20’s and 30’s were gone and I was staring down the barrel of the choices I had made during those years. I would talk with people during my work day and I had lost track of the amount of times that the conversation would turn to diet and exercise. I am just so thankful that eventually I became brave enough to have Bariatric surgery and take my life back.