A long goodbye

If you have read my blog then you know that I said goodbye to my darling Poppy in January. I was in church, lamenting my attendance, when the phone rang. It was my brother and I KNOW he wouldn’t call me on Sunday morning unless there was a very good and probably not nice reason. I headed for the toilets at church to return his call but didn’t make it there before I collapsed against a wall and felt like the very life had been sucked from me. Pop was getting ready to pass and they gave it 12 hours.

We left church early, Steve swung into action booking flights which for some reason made me angry. I knew I wouldn’t get to see Poppy again. I knew in my heart that the 12 hours was wrong. I knew that once Poppy decided he was going, he would just go. I told Steve, “Don’t worry about it, it’s too late he is gone!” I felt it – I was right – he left this world in that moment. We still did get on a plane and go to Queensland. I knew I wasn’t going to be attending his funeral. But I also knew that I was going to celebrate Pop and remember him in my own way.

We returned to our home in Victoria, and one by one, all of us except one of the boys came down with covid. Unfortunately One of my sons and myself have long covid and have both had pneumonia. It has been a bad time! However, in the midst of all of the awkward, heartbreaking moments, in the times of grief and sorrow, there has been wonder and beauty and new beginnings and resilience too. I have found things in myself that I simply didn’t know where there!

I am so thankful for new beginnings. I am so grateful for my family and for those who have been there for me and mine through the first 6 months of 2022. In those 6 months I have grown. Growth can be uncomfortable and it is pushing into the unknown but I am really comfortable in that uncomfortable place now!! I am back studying again. I am working, I am doing family life and most of all I am trying to be the person I know my Pop believed that I am.

Right now I am on a plane to Queensland once again. Work and family and laughter and love will follow. I don’t share those moments online but good things are afoot. Good things are happening and I am here for it!

Overnight Weetbix

When this concept first made its way onto tiktok I was shook – surely other people grew up eating weetbix with hot water until it went to mushy deliciousness? Anyway this is my bariatric take on things with the protein supplements that I have on hand in the house.

One weetbix with a scoop of Tasteless by Feel Good on it and a squirt of sugar free maple syrup and then boil water to make the weetbix go mooshy. Then I just mix half a VLCD Feel Good Shake with enough water to make a custard consistency and pour that on top (you can add yoghurt here but I like this more. And then Noshu (no sugar) chocolate with a little milk in it – melted in the microwave poured over the top. I refrigerate mine over night and enjoy the next day 😍

JULY 2022

My heart is full to the brim. One of the things I have realised over the last 6 months is that nothing in life is worth strife. I actively seek peace. Peaceful situations, genuine connections and kind interactions. I own that I have not always been this way. The saddest part is that I thought I was in search of peace but I now know that letting go of attempting to control situations is the most freeing way to live. I felt out of control in so many ways and that was the most toxic part of me, how I was and who I was as a person. It has been three years of therapy and I have come a long way in that time. Every day is not easy but it is a vast deal better than how thing were and for that I am truly and profoundly grateful.

There is something powerful about owning our own shit. About going, “yep, this is me – I need to work my own shit out. No one is going to fix me, no one is going to save me and while I may be the way I am because of things that have taken place, I get to choose if it destroys me forever, hurt me and others forever or if I allow it to be the fuel that I need to propel me to make changes.” The great part is that it’s never too late to change and it’s never too late to accept powerful responsibility for our own stuff. I can remember conversations that I had years ago with counsellors and psychologists – they tried to tell me this then but I was still just wanting to blame everything else. Coming through the last few years I have seen that doesn’t work! I wanted someone else to be responsible but I am responsible.

My choices are my own. Did I do some things because I felt pressured ….. yes, but again the choice to feel pressured was mine. It all comes back to me. I am certainly not saying this is true for every single person – sometimes we do not have choices but generally speaking for me I have found that I can choose. What a privilege that is! It is right?! How dare I blame anything else when I do have the power to choose and I best make good choices, choices that prove I am making the most of the ability that I have to change my own life.

So July 2022 is the start of even more changes for me. A more intentional fitness journey and sharing far more of what I do on a daily basis ❤️ so watch this space xx

Proffee

When I began my weight loss surgery journey I did not expect to still need supplements 4 years later but here we are. I have done all the things, seen the dieticians, had gastroscopes and it just seems that I have very excellent restriction and malabsorption that works very efficiently. In light of these things my protein consumption has been a bit problematic.

What do you do if you are highly sensitive to red meat to the point that your blood sugar drops to dangerous levels of you have it? Well I can tell you, you avoid it! Soooooo I have had to find what works best for me to help support my protein needs. Currently I add protein to my coffee which works so well!! Yay that something works for me. Don’t get me wrong – I still do my best with my food but to help me along I add that scoop of protein to my favourite drink and it makes my day less stress filled food wise!

So here I give you my fav Proffee (protein and coffee) video. I am low key in love with my coffee machine too. I don’t bother going out for coffee now because it’s nicer to have one at home 🫶🏻

Invitation

I have been invited to things in my life, I have been uninvited and I have been not invited – I think most of us can relate to at least two of those things and if you are like me, like to speak your mind, have no hesitation about calling things as you see it, then you may have been uninvited too! 🤣 If you have been, “high five” you are in good company here.

So this is my invitation to you. I would love to know what you would like to know about me. I am happy to discuss all things weight loss surgery and skin removal surgery. My family is off limits but I will do my best to answer anything else xx

A time to dance

I have spent the last two years of my life wrapped in mourning. I am very good, usually, at presenting a brave face to the world. If you don’t know me well you would be forgiven for believing that everything is wonderful! A lot of times I look at pictures of me and I can see it there – the smile that doesn’t quite touch my eyes and I know that the sadness is creeping in. Sadness has picked away at every single moment of my life these past few years – but I cannot allow myself to stay here.

Last night I lay in bed wondering if it is okay for me to allow myself to feel happy again. To allow myself to start to feel joy again and I have decided that YES it is okay. My boys need me to be okay and so I am putting myself back together – Expect to see a lot of exciting things!

So as I put flesh on the bones of my life and feel myself coming back, slowly. Some days it is step by step and it is hard but I can do hard things and so can you.

Blueberry Nice Cream

Here in Australia Summer has well and truly given way to Autumn but we have seen a couple of warmer days that I will stubbornly cling to! During these times, right before the temperatures start to drop like crazy here in Victoria I love to enjoy long walks and prior to my weight loss surgery, it was usually finished off with a lovely ice cream cone with my family. Since weight loss surgery, ice cream is problematic for me. I don’t like being left with dumping syndrome so I started to experiment with a few different options and I have found that this one works very well for me.

Mostly fruit and Collagen Protein Powder, it is a nod to my love of fruit flavours and a practical way to add protein into my diet.

Ingredients

1.5 Frozen Bananas

2 Scoops of Pure Botany Acai Powder

1/2 cup Frozen Blueberries

3 scoops of Tasteless Protein by Feel Good

How To Guide

Place all ingredients in a food processor and blitz until the mixture turns smooth and fluffy!

Eat straight away or store in the freezer in an air tight container and enjoy later.

Protein Mini Quiche

These are probably one of the easier things that I regularly make, post weight loss surgery. I need quick, tasty and high protein meals for me to feel like it is worthwhile planning ahead and this meal ticks all of those boxes. I also love the fact that it is super portable. I can wrap these up and they go in my little lunch box for work. If you decide to watch the video please excuse my Kiddos talking in the background and also my doggies do the odd bark here and there. If you try this please let me know how it goes for you!

Recipe

💓6 eggs

💓1/2 cup ricotta

💓1 cup grated cheese

💓12 pieces of sun dried tomatoes

💓3 tablespoons chives

💓3 scoops of Tasteless protein by Feel Good

💓Salt and pepper to taste

30 minutes in a 180 degree oven

Makes 6

Macros

Calories 208

Fat 11grams

Carbs 6grams

Protein 21grams