A whole lot less obnoxious

In the last 14 months I have learned a lot of things. Not all of the lessons have been fun to learn! One of the most heartbreaking lessons is that I used food as a coping mechanism 100% of the time for 40ish years of my life. Everything that I did revolved around food. I didn’t mean for it to be that way – but it doesn’t change the fact that it was that way. I have so many regrets that I have had to deal with. Making birthdays, holidays, important celebrations and Christmas about food and not about people. This was so wrong and my heart breaks when I think about how I lived, how I didn’t realise how sad it was and the fact that I can’t get back those lost years with my kids. In all honesty, I fucked up in some pretty big ways.

Weight loss has deconstructed my fatness and my arrogance at the same time. I am heart broken for my mistakes but hopeful for my future. I have learned that facing your demons is easy when you just look yourself in the face and see yourself for who and what you are – the good, the bad and everything in between.

Plastic Surgery

15 months post Gastric Bypass
12 years post Lap Band – 9 years post Lap Removal
HW 143
CW low 50’s 

It hasn’t been an easy road – heck it’s still not. There are days when I doubt the choice I made but honestly the only way now is forward! So forward I am going!! I am so thankful to my big self for dreaming that this future was possible. 

4 weeks and 6 sleeps until skin removal surgery! Tummy Tuck and Muscle Repair with mons lift and Breast lift and reduction! I am a mixed bag of feelings over the next step in this process. I am obsessively grateful to be able to have the skin removed and I am also very aware that I am about to change how I look forever … again!! 

Bring on the next part of the journey! For those who have followed along I have had my appointment with my surgeons nurse and asked a whole lot of questions. I am starting to feel ready. I am even wearing a dressing for the next week to make sure I’m not allergic to what I will have on me post op!