Band aids

Have you ever put a band aid on a wound that was too big for it to successfully cover? I have, blood and ooze spilling out the side and me thinking what the actual heck have I done here! Surely it’s gonna fit, it’s not that big! So you rip the band aid off (that hurts 😳🩹🩹🩹)and try sticking it a different way, only to find that it is STILL not okay! At that point it’s time for the bigger dressings, perhaps a bandage and it all looks a bit more serious than it was at the start. Well hold that thought and just go with me for a second …..

When I was younger I was a “bandage the paper cut” kind of person. I think it came from a place of real brokenness – because of things that took place in my life. Thankfully we can change, we can choose how we write our story and not be the person bandaging a paper cut for life. I identified my tendency towards this years ago and knew that I needed to change….. the problem comes when you try so hard to not need even a band aid because you don’t want to be the person that is making something out of nothing but you actually NEED the bandage, heck you may even be in need of the hospital!

I have found myself in that place lately. For years I WAS the over-reactor. I can acknowledge my hyper vigilance and I now know the reasons for it. If you were ever on the bad end of that version of me … well, all I can do is say that I am truly sorry for any pain that I caused. I stopped bandaging paper cuts a long time ago but in an effort to not overreact, I ate the feelings that went along with my internal struggles and pain. Weight loss surgery took away my ability to eat my feelings and has caused me to come face to face with parts of myself that I loathed but also some parts that I love too!

Change is difficult but it turns out that it doesn’t hurt anywhere near as much as staying how we are!

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Someone that decided enough was enough and believed that she could change her stars.

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