So what am I thankful for? Well I guess the big thing for me is that I am thankful that this horrific virus has exposed for all of the world to see, how interconnected we all truly are. I am thankful that for a few months, I have the opportunity to slow down and love on my family in a way unlike anything we have lived for many many years. I have been trying to keep up with the Jones’s for years. I can admit it. Now I am so happy to just be running my own race that I am happily average and just really enjoying life and I have found that I am enjoying it even more at home with the kids. It has been years and years and years since I was just at home. But here we are. Is it stressful. Yes, for so many reasons BUT oh my goodness. To get to be their mother is beautiful.
This is probably going to sound strange. Actually it will sound strange – I am even thankful in the middle of all that is happening in the world right now. I am not thankful FOR the pandemic that is ravaging the globe, that is robbing us of precious, incredible and valued people. My god, my heart aches every time the death toll ticks over again. I am not thankful for the immense stress that so many of my friends and loved ones are experiencing right now. At times I feel as if it could suffocate me and pull me under but I am thankful in this time.
Covid-19 and social iso has given me some precious, stolen days with my sons that I would not have otherwise had. I try to not think about the fact that Aramis is in his final year of high school and will move to go to uni next year. I really do my best to avoid thinking of it but as the months pass and that reality comes bearing down on us my heart has been equal parts so proud and excited for him and missing him already. These days with him are the best of days. How often can we lock the world out? When is it normal to do that – well the answer is – its NOT normal to do that. I can’t say that I am hating doing all of their laundry, and cooking their breakfast, lunch and dinner but I’m not. I always did love being at home with my kids and clearly nothing has changed from those days so very long ago. Baking, board games, lying on the grass looking up at the clouds, making a million playlists, talking about our dreams, investing my love and heart into them – there is nothing better than that. It is a pity that it has taken a pandemic for me to realise that there truly is nothing better than what I already have.