Ready, Aim, Fire

Oh the joy of being able to zing when one wants to. I often think of the Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan classic, You’ve Got Mail ….. and remember the line concerning the ability to zing someone and that “remorse inevitably follows.” Lately, well, to be very frank, I find myself waiting for the remorse to follow – and, at length I have found, it doesn’t. This possibly means a number of things, all of which are probably vastly unflattering towards myself – however, I find myself unable to care. I suspect this is because my bullshit filter has finally reached a point where I am not sorry for speaking the truth. In fact, I need it. I need to know where I stand, I need to be honest about my feelings and about where things lie for me right now.

So – I have been a little quite on the blogging front because my Mac has been in the ICU for the last, nearly 4 weeks. Covid-19 and everyone working from home has put a big strain on the local computer repair people, so, my computer only just arrived back home today! Oh joy of joys, oh rapturous glee….. the smooth feeling of my keyboard and the little clickity click click of the keys have reinvigorated my heart and make the task of blogging a joy. It always is a joy anyway, but tonight it feels even more joyous.

“So what has been happening?” You may ask? Well, I have had wonderful blood test results. All of my levels except my blood protein levels, are within the normal range! This is cause for huge celebration. It means that at long last my vitamin regime is doing its job. My protein levels are up from last test but they still need to go up further. The thing about that is that protein triggers weight loss for me …… so this is my “chicken and the egg” drama that I have been playing for the best part of 2 years. I will sort it out and get those levels right, it will just take a bit more time and I am okay with that – honestly I have nothing but time.

Also, I had my two year bypassaversary. 98 kilos less of me from my highest recorded weight. So many changes have followed along behind the weight loss. Most recently a little bit of a personal make over. So all is good. On a personal front. I think I am the best that I have been for a while. Isolation was good for me and even the hard things that have happened this year have been good for me also. I know where I am heading and I know who is in my boat with me.

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Someone that decided enough was enough and believed that she could change her stars.

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