“Believe me, Marianne, had I not been bound to silence I could have provided proof enough of a broken heart, even for you.” Oh Jane Austen how this words resonate with me!!! So often we have no idea what is really going on in someone else’s life.
This morning I have been absolutely and totally undone, once again, by the PROFOUND kindness that I have encountered in the form of a beautiful couple that I have met because of our children. We sat talking, and as is my custom lately, skirting around issues, that might cause me to feel the overwhelming anxiety that frequently threatens to pull me under.
I love to talk with people that intuitively know things. In the last week, two people – both with similar backgrounds in their work lives, have been able to see through my carefully constructed facade and I have been undone by their compassion and empathy. It is okay to not be okay. I am not hiding at the moment – but I am unable to do more than I am doing. Being kind to myself looks like doing things that bring me joy. I simply must focus on those things 🙂 But you know what – if I seem fragile, it is because I am – I promise I won’t break. If I seem like I need coffee please make me one and shove it in my hand.
I woke up 1.5 kilos lighter today. This is by far my lightest weight. I left the house wearing pants that are really big – falling off me big – in an effort to make myself look a little less like skin and bone. I also wore three layers on my top for the same reason. Stress does this – I lose weight when stressed 🤯 that is something that did not happen prior to my weight loss surgery! This week I am going to go back to see my doctor to see what he suggests.