I often catch myself in situations when I feel less than charitable! The meanie in me wants to come out and have her say. Honestly part of being human seems to be seeing the things in others that we don’t necessarily like or agree with but I have also lived on this large rock long enough to know that we tend to notice things that we don’t like in others more easily when it is something that we dislike in ourselves first.
Growing up I was fortunate to spend a lot of time with my pop. We were very close. We worked on projects together and we would read books out loud to each other about our shared interests – that was a big deal for my pop. He didn’t find reading out loud to be a fun thing to do but he did it for me because I asked him to read to me. I listened to hours and hours of books on a particular type of bird that we both loved 💗 And those hours are some of the happiest memories of my childhood. We had shared interests and he always loved and supported me no matter what I was going through.
My Pop always called me on to a higher standard of behaviour. He was always unfailingly kind and never spoke badly of people – even if they did deserve it. Numerous times when I was much younger – he would look at me when I was complaining about something and he would say “Ahhhh my little chickie, my little Tashie, nothing in life is worth strife” It is funny how words wrap themselves around us and become part of who we are.
2020 has been hard. It is just a few days since other states in Australia have opened their borders to allow travel and soon we will finally be allowed to travel to see our family. Covid has played a very real part in our lives in Victoria this year. When loved ones have gone through horrific health struggles we have not been able to see them – border restrictions have kept us apart for nearly 12 months and so much has changed in that time. More than I will pen on a public forum – but suffice it to say that I am not the person I once was. My life is profoundly different after the year that has been.
Most of the year I have been concerned that I may not see my grandfather again. Pop is still fighting on and I will get to see him again. I have my theories around why he hangs on to life and I also have a steely resolve to act in a way that honours him and my grandmother.